“What’s all this kumbaya stuff you’re talking about, Kathy?” you may be asking. “We’re all adults here and I don’t have time to stroke people’s egos or protect their feelings….What’s this got to do with business?” Well first of all, we are not all adults here; in fact, I contend that, deep down, we’re all still about five years old. And then there is this fascinating and very useful to me by Marshall Goldsmith What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful! (2006) The understated gold seal on the front cover of the book says “Discover the 20 Workplace Habits You Need to Break.” Ruh-roh….Dr. Marshall’s simple and forthright discussion is easy to follow, though perhaps not as easy to absorb – not because the concepts are difficult, but because they land so close to home. He cuts to the core of how people in business sabotage their own success unwittingly because they lack the self-awareness to see how they are impacting others by their lack of basic social skills such as empathy, attentiveness or simple good grace.

Notable among Marshall’s 20 (although they are all powerful) that I often encounter when coaching clients are:

• Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
• Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
• Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
• Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.

Get Into Action I invite you to take this eye-opening, mind-stimulating and, perhaps, occasionally heart-rending stroll where we in today’s “cram in as much as you can” society do not often allow ourselves to go. I promise you that you will discover some things about yourself that will serve you well in future business and personal relationships.

Let me know what you think.