Have you ever heard the saying that people would rather do business with a friend than a stranger? This is so simple, and yet often so forgotten in our everyday work. How many times have you been in a hurry to meet a deadline so you avoided talking with someone or you cut the conversation short? How many times have you been on the receiving end of this treatment and said to yourself, “I know it was nothing personal – he (let’s call him Fred) is just busy and didn’t have time to talk.” If you are honest with yourself, how did you truly feel about being cut off? Did you feel heard? Did you feel respected? Did you feel like you were important to him? What would have happened if Fred had spent just 15 or 20 seconds longer to hear you out and acknowledge you in a personal way? How different would you have felt with the conversation completed? How different would you have felt about Fred?

Even if you say you’re okay with those quick exchanges, can you honestly say it furthers your relationship with Fred – that you are getting to know him in a way that will engender trust and a desire to work with him on something with high stakes for you? Arthur T. Himmelman is an expert on collaboration and what makes our work together successful. In his seminal monograph on the subject, he wrote, “Collaborating is usually characterized by substantial time commitments, very high levels of trust, and extensive areas of common turf.” He calls it a process in which parties “exchange information, alter activities, share resources, and enhance each other’s capacity for mutual benefit and a common purpose by sharing risks, responsibilities, and rewards.” (2002)

Mindful communication that encourages getting to know someone and learning more about him or her as an individual builds trust and can contribute to your success as an entrepreneur. It has been called in marketing circles “the know, like and trust factor” and it is essential for building strong personal and business relationships that will support your work for years to come. This is true in your local community and your virtual on-line community, as well.

So here is some food for thought around the notion of connecting with people and treating them well:

There is no such thing as a successful solo entrepreneur or “solopreneur”. No one becomes successful alone.  Questions for you as an entrepreneur are:

• What kinds of connections do you want to cultivate?
• What are your motivations for connecting with others?
• What sort of help could you offer to others and what help could you use to fill in the gaps between your own strengths (so you and your collaborators can do those things that are fulfilling and fun for each of you)?
• How can your relationships with others become win-win-win propositions?

Get Into Action The next time you are in a rush to get something done and need to talk to someone, pause for a beat. Take a deep breath. Think about that person on the other end of your conversation. Ask yourself, “Is this person complete with this interaction? Did s/he get what s/he needed, too? Have I left him or her feeling good?” I promise you that if you take an additional ten to fifteen seconds, it can make all the difference. You will be slightly less stressed by stopping for a breath and a friendly exchange, you will still get your work done and you will have nurtured a little further a relationship that can grow to be mutually beneficial in ways that you may not envision on that day.

Give it a try, and let me know what you experienced.