Archive for the ‘Blog Post’ Category

Now that I’m settling into my life in Florida, I am really appreciating how at ease I am here and how much I am energized by my surroundings.  I am truly home.  I want others to experience similar tranquility about where they live and how they are living their life.  I also appreciate efficiency and getting the most out of every precious moment we have each day, so I began to ask myself, “What would be the most fundamental, useful and reasonably doable life practices that could help someone be the healthiest, happiest, most fulfilled person possible…especially given the crazy pace of life for so many of us?  How could we have our most robust life?

We’re bombarded with so many ideas on how to be a better, smarter, happier, richer, prettier, healthier – you name it – person….Which way do you turn?  Who do you believe?  Who has exactly the right answer for you?  It can be confusing and overwhelming.  I’ve done a lot of research about a lot of life issues and the conclusion I came to years ago is that I can take in all kinds of good stories and good advice, but it’s only by checking in with myself – keeping communication open with my intuition and my personal values – that I can make sense of all the input in a way that will be useful to me.  Context is key.

So how do we live the life we want, keep our stress low and energy high, and get the most out of each day – both personally and professionally?  I call it maximizing your “daily effectiveness”, and it begins by looking inside, getting clear about your core values and engaging in positive life practices that can be maintained consistently with a small investment of time, thought and intentional action.  Over the coming months I’ll share a variety of tips and resources on how you can increase your daily effectiveness; you decide what feels right for you. 
 
This e-zine comes to you just once a month; if you’d like to learn even more, you can receive my weekly blog posts with additional tips, resources and timely updates by clicking here  to get the RSS feed.  Talk to you again soon!
 
KB

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”

-Sir Winston Churchill

I’ve been thinking a lot about our creativity and passion and being true to that deepest, most child-like part of us – how we all have that part of us that is full of child-like wonder and glee.  We forget about it and lose touch with it as we go about our busy lives.  As the new year gets rolling, I want to celebrate the creativity that lies within each of us.  Do you have some expression of your creativity that you’d like to post here?  Something you wrote or a description of something you did?  I’m celebrating with a poem I wrote awhile back and have never shared before….Here’s to expressing for the joy of it…..

Possibility

I leave behind the sad, the negative, the wimpering, simpering false labor of an unimagined life

To celebrate that crisp indelible glimpse of what could be in far off places

               that are but a stone’s throw from the mind.

Oh, passion is at rest and neither grovels nor pushes pretentiously through that veil of doubt

But waits for possibility to overtake the dull thud of footsteps in place

               on a well-worn sidewalk of a fettered mind.

Oh, how out we come

And joy overtakes all

And the cymbals crash like obnoxious, unruly children in our heads

As we come marching out into the glare of the sun

And smile and smile and smile.

Happy New Year

KB

Greetings!

I hope this message finds you well, happy, and sharing time with those who are special to you.  The holidays are such a great time to take advantage of the slower pace to relax, reconnect with folks more personally and rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit.  May you be refreshed and excited to dive into the new year!

I know it has been some time since I last connected with you; I took time this autumn for travel, soul-searching and a big life change.  I decided, after ten years living in the Washington DC area, to sell my home in Silver Spring, Maryland and move back to my native state of Florida.  (Yes, I left in time to dodge the snowstorms!)  I am now settling into my new home in North Palm Beach.  It’s pretty clear that this was the right decision energetically, as well as practically, for me: I listed my house on November 2nd, signed a contract on November 6th and closed on the house November 20th.  That’s 19 days from listing to closing.  It also speaks to one of my core ways of living: “Make a decision, get it done.”

Some friends have asked, “Won’t you miss the winter season?”  Not so much – I’ve got Florida blood and I really love the warm.  During my “sabbatical” this fall I asked myself, heart-of-hearts, where am I happiest?  This is an important question if I want to live my most fulfilled life.  My answer was to move back to where I can be nurtured by the sun, see more of my family, and get outside to cycle, walk and bodysurf more often.

So what about you?  Heart-of-hearts, are you living where you love it?  Are you doing work that fulfills you?  Are you happy with your life?  As the New Year approaches, this is a perfect time to reflect on where in your life you’re happy and fulfilled, and where you’re not.  And if there’s something that you wish could be different, why not do something about it?  Make a decision, and get it done.

Some things take longer to accomplish than others.  That’s okay.  Once you decide what that new outcome is – that dream or vision or goal – you can figure out just that first step and do it.  That’s progress and every bit of forward motion, no matter how modest, can be a boost to your spirit and keep your momentum going.  It’s exciting – just make that first decision, and get that first action done.  You can do it!

If you get inspired, share your thoughts and let me know 1) what change will make your life more fulfilling, 2) what that first step to make it happen will be, and 3) the date that you’ll have it done.  If you would rather reach me privately, email me (kathy at Robust Life Coaching.com).  And if you are seriously committed to making changes and would like some coaching to help you get into action, I invite you to apply for one of my complimentary Life Strategy Sessions (a limited number are available) and go after your heart’s desire.

Cheers to you and may 2010 be your best year ever!
 
Warm wishes,

 Greetings,

I hope you’re enjoying the summer as much as I am – it’s warm (which I love as a Florida native), the birds and butterflies are enjoying my beautiful gardens, and I’m having fun with several projects.  Because there’s so much going on, I’ve decided to send you my e-zine once a month and send other updates and information occasionally that could be useful to you – stay tuned.
 
Recently, I had the opportunity to experience something very different and very special – natural horseback riding – and I wanted to share the experience with you.  I was introduced to it by Natural Horsemanship Trainer Kirsten Willey.  She is also known as a horse whisperer.  She rides bareback and uses no bits with her horses – only soft rope bridle and other minimal, soft gear.  You can see her pictured here with Mickey, the horse I rode.

She gave me a lesson on staying in the flow with the horse, since the gear was minimal and her horses – and their riders – are trained in gentler persuasion than traditional horseback riding. 

To help me get the feeling of natural riding, Kirsten related to me a Native American tale about two riders who traveled for years by horseback on a quest.  By the time they returned home, their lower bodies had grown into their horses, and they became, literally, one with their horses.  That’s the sensation she encouraged me to feel as I rode…and it worked!  If you are fascinated by natural horsemanship and would like to know more, you can reach Kirsten at scooterdoggies@hotmail.com.  For more on flow, keep reading.

To living with ease, 

After my horseback riding experience, I spent some time thinking about how being in the flow of life can positively affect our lives.  We are calmer, more focused, more at peace with ourselves and the world.  We experience the ultimate flow when we are following our passion, doing work and other activities that we love.  I ask clients a couple of questions that are helpful for discovering their true passion and flow:

• What would you do, even if you weren’t getting paid for it?
• If you had all the money you could ever want, how would you spend your time?

Why are these questions important?  Because when you are doing what makes you happy and fulfilled, you will most easily find your flow.  You will be inspired to get up out of bed, excited about what the day may bring.

When I worked with a client recently on how life is so much easier and enjoyable when we are in our flow and not forcing things, the personal experience he came up with was drumming.  When he forced it, it was hard to play and didn’t sound as good; he said by letting go, he could finally feel the flow.

How does this relate to everyday life?  Once you know how it feels to be engaged in something effortlessly, you can cultivate that feeling at other times, as well.  Then, when something unexpected or unpleasant happens, you have a choice: you can either focus on what happened, all the bad details – stirring up and continuing to feed negative emotions, such as anger or regret – or you can acknowledge the sad, unfortunate or surprising situation, consider how you could respond in a productive way, and then refocus on whatever brings you back to center – to your sense of calm and flow.

I get into my flow, especially, in my coaching and when I’m doing other favorite activities like t’ai chi, cycling, walking, swimming, dancing and gardening. Without effort, my breathing becomes deep and regular, I am relaxed and my thoughts and movements come with ease.  By remembering that feeling at other times, I have learned how to bring on that state by focusing on my breath and my energy center in my body’s core.

Get Into Action
Think about an activity where you can get into your flow.  What is it about that activity that does it for you?  Can you recall that feeling you had when you were doing it with such ease?  What would it take for you to call up that feeling at other times?  Is it a certain way of breathing?  Is it the way you are moving?  Is it some sort of visualization that gets you into that flow?

Once you’ve pinpointed what puts you into your flow, practice bringing on that same feeling in everyday life – in your office, on a walk, or perhaps having a meal.  Once you’ve gotten the hang of this, you can begin using this technique to get into your flow in more stressful situations.  Have some fun with this – it can really make a difference in your day.

May the sun bring you new energy by day,
May the moon softly restore you by night,
May the rain wash away your worries,
May the breeze blow new strength into your being.
May you walk gently through the world
and know its beauty all the days of your life.  
–Apache blessing 

Greetings!

I recently had a couple of experiences in my local community with an organization called Impact Silver Spring (ISS) that demonstrate what I want to share with you today – building meaningful relationships that contribute to your success as an entrepreneur, as well as enrich your life. One occasion was their new member orientation, which I attended because I had recently joined to get better connected with folks in my own community. The other was their “Spirit of Silver Spring” street party that brought out families and friends for a festive gathering in downtown Silver Spring for people of all ages and backgrounds. You see me here with Noelle Haile, ISS’s IMPACT Connections Coordinator at this event. She is a delightful and amazing woman; I’ll share more about Noelle later.

My experiences with ISS brought to mind, particularly, one of the concepts of my coaching and one of the modules in my workshop “The Entrepreneur’s ‘Powerhouse Ten’ System for Success”. I call it: “Connect with People and Treat Them Well”.

Impact Silver Spring was established in 1999 “to ensure that the diversity of the community’s population would be reflected in the life and leadership of newly revitalized Silver Spring (and) continues to focus on supporting collaborative community work crossing lines of race, class, and culture in our schools, neighborhoods and businesses.” The organization was selected as one of the best small charities in the Greater Washington Region by the Catalogue of Philanthropy in 2007-08 and it’s easy to understand why.

Noelle Haile epitomizes their philosophy. She has a masterful way of welcoming a person with her warm, friendly, as well as professional, demeanor. She engages everyone in a room, helping everyone feel comfortable, open to sharing and respected for their contribution to the conversation. I have had the pleasure of working with Noelle on one of my workshop presentations at ISS “The Entrepreneur’s Three Keys to Reduce Stress and Maximize Time and Profits” and have enjoyed her astute facilitation at their membership orientation, which they hold each month.

Here’s the point: I daresay that every person in the room at the orientation would bend over backwards to help out Noelle because she is such an authentic, giving person. This attitude is also a core value of Impact Silver Spring, which is just one reason why I gravitated toward them in the first place. The organization gives first and asks to receive later – again, a basic tenet in creating lasting, fruitful win-win-win (more on this later) relationships as an entrepreneur. I’ve devoted this issue of my e-zine to examining how we can build lasting relationships in hopes that it provides you inspiration and tools personally and helps spread the spirit of collaboration throughout the entrepreneurial community.

To all our success,

Have you ever heard the saying that people would rather do business with a friend than a stranger? This is so simple, and yet often so forgotten in our everyday work. How many times have you been in a hurry to meet a deadline so you avoided talking with someone or you cut the conversation short? How many times have you been on the receiving end of this treatment and said to yourself, “I know it was nothing personal – he (let’s call him Fred) is just busy and didn’t have time to talk.” If you are honest with yourself, how did you truly feel about being cut off? Did you feel heard? Did you feel respected? Did you feel like you were important to him? What would have happened if Fred had spent just 15 or 20 seconds longer to hear you out and acknowledge you in a personal way? How different would you have felt with the conversation completed? How different would you have felt about Fred?

Even if you say you’re okay with those quick exchanges, can you honestly say it furthers your relationship with Fred – that you are getting to know him in a way that will engender trust and a desire to work with him on something with high stakes for you? Arthur T. Himmelman is an expert on collaboration and what makes our work together successful. In his seminal monograph on the subject, he wrote, “Collaborating is usually characterized by substantial time commitments, very high levels of trust, and extensive areas of common turf.” He calls it a process in which parties “exchange information, alter activities, share resources, and enhance each other’s capacity for mutual benefit and a common purpose by sharing risks, responsibilities, and rewards.” (2002)

Mindful communication that encourages getting to know someone and learning more about him or her as an individual builds trust and can contribute to your success as an entrepreneur. It has been called in marketing circles “the know, like and trust factor” and it is essential for building strong personal and business relationships that will support your work for years to come. This is true in your local community and your virtual on-line community, as well.

So here is some food for thought around the notion of connecting with people and treating them well:

There is no such thing as a successful solo entrepreneur or “solopreneur”. No one becomes successful alone.  Questions for you as an entrepreneur are:

• What kinds of connections do you want to cultivate?
• What are your motivations for connecting with others?
• What sort of help could you offer to others and what help could you use to fill in the gaps between your own strengths (so you and your collaborators can do those things that are fulfilling and fun for each of you)?
• How can your relationships with others become win-win-win propositions?

Get Into Action The next time you are in a rush to get something done and need to talk to someone, pause for a beat. Take a deep breath. Think about that person on the other end of your conversation. Ask yourself, “Is this person complete with this interaction? Did s/he get what s/he needed, too? Have I left him or her feeling good?” I promise you that if you take an additional ten to fifteen seconds, it can make all the difference. You will be slightly less stressed by stopping for a breath and a friendly exchange, you will still get your work done and you will have nurtured a little further a relationship that can grow to be mutually beneficial in ways that you may not envision on that day.

Give it a try, and let me know what you experienced.

“What’s all this kumbaya stuff you’re talking about, Kathy?” you may be asking. “We’re all adults here and I don’t have time to stroke people’s egos or protect their feelings….What’s this got to do with business?” Well first of all, we are not all adults here; in fact, I contend that, deep down, we’re all still about five years old. And then there is this fascinating and very useful to me by Marshall Goldsmith What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful! (2006) The understated gold seal on the front cover of the book says “Discover the 20 Workplace Habits You Need to Break.” Ruh-roh….Dr. Marshall’s simple and forthright discussion is easy to follow, though perhaps not as easy to absorb – not because the concepts are difficult, but because they land so close to home. He cuts to the core of how people in business sabotage their own success unwittingly because they lack the self-awareness to see how they are impacting others by their lack of basic social skills such as empathy, attentiveness or simple good grace.

Notable among Marshall’s 20 (although they are all powerful) that I often encounter when coaching clients are:

• Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
• Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
• Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
• Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.

Get Into Action I invite you to take this eye-opening, mind-stimulating and, perhaps, occasionally heart-rending stroll where we in today’s “cram in as much as you can” society do not often allow ourselves to go. I promise you that you will discover some things about yourself that will serve you well in future business and personal relationships.

Let me know what you think.