Have you ever heard the saying that people would rather do business with a friend than a stranger? This is so simple, and yet often so forgotten in our everyday work. How many times have you been in a hurry to meet a deadline so you avoided talking with someone or you cut the conversation short? How many times have you been on the receiving end of this treatment and said to yourself, “I know it was nothing personal – he (let’s call him Fred) is just busy and didn’t have time to talk.” If you are honest with yourself, how did you truly feel about being cut off? Did you feel heard? Did you feel respected? Did you feel like you were important to him? What would have happened if Fred had spent just 15 or 20 seconds longer to hear you out and acknowledge you in a personal way? How different would you have felt with the conversation completed? How different would you have felt about Fred?

Even if you say you’re okay with those quick exchanges, can you honestly say it furthers your relationship with Fred – that you are getting to know him in a way that will engender trust and a desire to work with him on something with high stakes for you? Arthur T. Himmelman is an expert on collaboration and what makes our work together successful. In his seminal monograph on the subject, he wrote, “Collaborating is usually characterized by substantial time commitments, very high levels of trust, and extensive areas of common turf.” He calls it a process in which parties “exchange information, alter activities, share resources, and enhance each other’s capacity for mutual benefit and a common purpose by sharing risks, responsibilities, and rewards.” (2002)

Mindful communication that encourages getting to know someone and learning more about him or her as an individual builds trust and can contribute to your success as an entrepreneur. It has been called in marketing circles “the know, like and trust factor” and it is essential for building strong personal and business relationships that will support your work for years to come. This is true in your local community and your virtual on-line community, as well.

So here is some food for thought around the notion of connecting with people and treating them well:

There is no such thing as a successful solo entrepreneur or “solopreneur”. No one becomes successful alone.  Questions for you as an entrepreneur are:

• What kinds of connections do you want to cultivate?
• What are your motivations for connecting with others?
• What sort of help could you offer to others and what help could you use to fill in the gaps between your own strengths (so you and your collaborators can do those things that are fulfilling and fun for each of you)?
• How can your relationships with others become win-win-win propositions?

Get Into Action The next time you are in a rush to get something done and need to talk to someone, pause for a beat. Take a deep breath. Think about that person on the other end of your conversation. Ask yourself, “Is this person complete with this interaction? Did s/he get what s/he needed, too? Have I left him or her feeling good?” I promise you that if you take an additional ten to fifteen seconds, it can make all the difference. You will be slightly less stressed by stopping for a breath and a friendly exchange, you will still get your work done and you will have nurtured a little further a relationship that can grow to be mutually beneficial in ways that you may not envision on that day.

Give it a try, and let me know what you experienced.

“What’s all this kumbaya stuff you’re talking about, Kathy?” you may be asking. “We’re all adults here and I don’t have time to stroke people’s egos or protect their feelings….What’s this got to do with business?” Well first of all, we are not all adults here; in fact, I contend that, deep down, we’re all still about five years old. And then there is this fascinating and very useful to me by Marshall Goldsmith What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful! (2006) The understated gold seal on the front cover of the book says “Discover the 20 Workplace Habits You Need to Break.” Ruh-roh….Dr. Marshall’s simple and forthright discussion is easy to follow, though perhaps not as easy to absorb – not because the concepts are difficult, but because they land so close to home. He cuts to the core of how people in business sabotage their own success unwittingly because they lack the self-awareness to see how they are impacting others by their lack of basic social skills such as empathy, attentiveness or simple good grace.

Notable among Marshall’s 20 (although they are all powerful) that I often encounter when coaching clients are:

• Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
• Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
• Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
• Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.

Get Into Action I invite you to take this eye-opening, mind-stimulating and, perhaps, occasionally heart-rending stroll where we in today’s “cram in as much as you can” society do not often allow ourselves to go. I promise you that you will discover some things about yourself that will serve you well in future business and personal relationships.

Let me know what you think.

Lately the majority of the media and some politicians have talked over and over about how bad the economy is.  They feed on each other’s comments and replay the same negative quotes repeatedly.  It also feeds people’s fears and focuses our attention on the negative and what’s bad about the economy until it’s all people are talking about – what’s wrong, the threats, and what is not possible.

I’d like to offer a different perspective:

The U. S. Department of Labor reported that in April 2009 the unemployment rate was 8.9 percent.  The combined unemployment and underemployment rate for that month was reported as 15.8 percent.

During the depression of last century the unemployment rate was 25 percent.  We don’t know what the combined unemployment and underemployment rate was – they weren’t measuring underemployment back then.

So let’s look at these statistics from another perspective:  The employment rate during the depression was 75 percent, meaning 75 percent of people who could work were working at some job.

In April 2009, the comparable statistic was 91 percent.  Considering the unemployed and underemployed together, the number of people working in the U.S. in April was 84 percent.  This number represented our potential to achieve, which is still promising.

The economy runs, to a great extent, on the confidence of individuals that if they invest their money in themselves, their property, their business and their savings, their wealth will grow.  It is when people like you and I become gripped by fear and withdraw – our energy, our enthusiasm, our brain power, our hope and our resources – that the economy continues to contract.  If we continually focus on what’s wrong with the situation, we don’t leave much time and energy for creating new possibilities for economic success.

Get Into Action 
You can leverage what you know and do in new, creative ways:

• Connect with fellow entrepreneurs in ways that spark new approaches to what you offer.
• Affiliate with entrepreneurs who are not direct competitors.  Refer business to each other for a small affiliate fee.  As long as you are doing this for a colleague whose work you know and trust, this is ethical and helpful to the customer, as well.
• Joint venture with another business to bring fresh products or innovative services to the public. 

All these strategies are win-win-win – good for you, good for your fellow entrepreneur, and good for the greater community.  Keep your mind focused on the abundance you do enjoy – remember that what you focus on expands and when you write down your goals you are more likely to achieve them.  Brainstorm it, envision it and do it!

If you would like more information on how this leveraging works, contact my team at info@RobustLifeCoaching.com.

…you’re in for a treat.  In keeping with the theme of looking at the upside of the economy and how to capitalize on it, I suggest you take a look at Blue Ocean Strategy — How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant by W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne.  The fundamental concept of the book is that a business can choose to compete in a “red ocean” market, head-to-head with its competitors with the same products or services, or a business can create new products or services by combining ideas from diverse markets, thereby operating in a “blue ocean” with little or no competition.

A prime example is a group of entrepreneurial street performers that in 1984 took the idea of a typical circus like Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey, combined it with the aspects of a dance company such as Pilobilus, and created Cirque du Soleil.  According to Chan and Mauborgne, this blue ocean enterprise has been seen by “almost forty million people in ninety cities around the world.”  And they are still going strong.  When I was in Las Vegas this spring, Cirque du Soleil was running six shows simultaneously throughout the city.

The book is well organized and easy to skim for key concepts if you don’t have time for the full read right now, but I highly recommend you do read it cover to cover when time permits.

Get Into Action 
Make a list of the products or services you currently offer.  Make a second list of all your talents and skills, whether they relate to your current business or not.  Now put those lists side by side, pour yourself your favorite festive beverage, turn off your phone and computer, and think about links between items on the two lists that have blue ocean potential.  It can be fun and fruitful to do this with a friend/colleague – together you can stir up quite a brainstorm, including ideas for joint ventures!